


i'm just dreaming (counting the ways to where you are)

by neverwhere (nekrateholic)



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:42:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7640632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrateholic/pseuds/neverwhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sanghyuk kept all the death jokes to himself. ‘Am I dead already?’</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm just dreaming (counting the ways to where you are)

**Author's Note:**

> I SUCK at summaries. sorry
> 
> there IS character death in this, obviously, but it's not, like, angsty? i think? this is too short to be angsty tbh  
> i don't know if this counts for a songfic, but i tried to follow the lyrics of 100 Years by Five For Fighting (also the title)

Sanghyuk slammed his notebook closed. He quickly looked around the coffee shop but no one seemed to be overly disturbed by the noise. Sanghyuk wanted to, he really wanted to focus on his homework but thoughts of a certain Jaehwan kept popping in his head and he had barely written a hundred words of his two-page essay.

‘You are fifteen,’ his mom had said when he told her about Jaehwan (yes, he was that lame), ‘I remember being fifteen – it’s that awkward age between ten and twenty where you’re too old to be a child and too young to be an adult. Don’t sweat it too much, it’ll feel like a dream a few years from now anyway.’ He said something along the lines of ‘yeah, sure’, because what does she know, really. Sanghyuk might be fifteen, but he remembered being ten, back when Jaehwan used to be his best friend – his only friend, really. The kind of friend you invite to your tree house and they accept, even though they claim they’ve long since outgrown tree houses. He also remembered the precise moment he decided they should get married when they grow up and it took him years to understand why Jaehwan gave him this odd look and why he wasn’t allowed to play with him anymore. Now that won’t feel like a dream anytime soon.

The door to the coffee shop dinged and the cool, air-conditioned air was disturbed by the humidity from outside for a second. A few seconds later a homeless guy took the seat across from Sanghyuk. He wore a beanie and a hood on top of it – he had so many clothes on him, in this heat, Sanghyuk almost choked on his behalf. He was too shocked to do anything for a second, then, as politely as he could, asked what the hell does the man want.

The man answered, then smiled, then said something more. Sanghyuk didn’t hear it though, so he asked him to say it again, and the man did, and Sanghyuk smiled, too. He offered to buy the guy a coffee, but he refused, stood up, patted him on the back and left.

The moment he was out the door Sanghyuk realized he’d already forgotten what they’d talked about. Whatever, it probably wasn’t important anyway.

He returned to his essay with newfound determination. The world seemed a tad bit less annoying, for some reason.

* 

Death sort of looked like a cat. He wasn’t a cat, of course, but his eyes reminded Sanghyuk of that cat they had when he was twelve. There was also the fact that Death was a he, and for some reason Sanghyuk always thought Death would be a lady. Definitely-not-lady Death looked all sorts of cheesy – black suit, rather long black hair and that blank look on his face that somehow told Sanghyuk there wasn’t a thing he could do or say that this man hasn’t seen before.

Sanghyuk kept all the death jokes to himself. ‘Am I dead already?’

 Everything looked, sounded, felt clearer than it had for the last thirty years, but a guy had to be sure.

‘Yeah.’ Death said, and his voice was a contrast to his entire appearance – soft and sweet.

‘Great,’ Sanghyuk huffed. ‘You couldn’t at least wait one more year? Ninety-nine is such a shit age to die.’ Death just shrugged and Sanghyuk sighed. ‘Shouldn’t my life flash before my eyes or something?’

There was an almost-smile on Death’s face.

‘That’s what I’m here for.’

 *

Sanghyuk didn’t even need to smell the incense to know where they are. All the mirrors were covered in his mom’s hand-embroidered sheets and he could see Minah with her husband, along with their two sons, all in black and all in different stages of crying. He saw his sixty seven-year-old self standing in the corner, stiff, lifeless. Sanghyuk at sixty-seven looked more dead than Jaehwan in his open coffin.

‘Of all the moments in my life, this is the one you start with.’

Death shrugged again.

‘Can we move on already?’

 *

The smile was on Sanghyuk’s face even before the scene completely settled around them. That was another day engrained in his brain for the end of eternity, although for an entirely different reason. The day they took Minah home – he was thirty-three, Jaehwan was thirty-six, they were married for three years now and they were ready, oh so ready, to be a family. After months upon months of the adoption paperwork finally, finally they could take her home. He could see Jaehwan gripping his hand hard enough to form bruises, he remembered those too, and then a three-year-old Minah was leaping into their hands.

Death said nothing as Sanghyuk of ninety-nine wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

 *

It took a moment to recognize the last one.

He’d thought he loved Jaehwan his entire life, but that night, at twenty-two, it had been like falling in love all over again. The fact that this time it was reciprocated only helped.

They didn’t really do much – not that night at least – they had stayed up talking the entire night after Jaehwan nearly broke down his door, then proceeded to climb up his fire escape with a rose that looked like it had been run over by something by the time it reached Sanghyuk.

It was exactly two nights after when Sanghyuk had kissed him and effectively ruined the careful friendship they had started rebuilding through college.

This time Sanghyuk didn’t even try to stop the tears and Death almost-smiled again.

 *

‘Is that all?’ Death said nothing but Sanghyuk was used to that already, so he just went on ‘I can’t believe you literally summed up my life in three days of it.’ He stayed silent for a while, then finally found the strength to say the question he was itching to ask ever since Death showed up by his bed.

‘Is he there? Is he waiting for me?’

Death nodded and something big, bright and beautiful unfurled in Sanghyuk’s chest. Of course he was waiting. Still, he tried to push down the anticipation and asked, ‘Do you think we have time for one more?’

 *

Sanghyuk at fifteen was a sorry sight and no one has ever questioned that fact. Except for maybe his mom and Jaehwan, but, well, they _were_ his mom and Jaehwan.

Still, when Sanghyuk looked at himself at fifteen, hunched over his notebook and looking miserable as hell, something made him want to protect the kid. To comfort him.

‘Can I talk to him? To me, I mean?’

Death tilted his head. ‘You can. However, he won’t remember any of it the moment you turn your back on him.’

Sanghyuk shrugged and opened the door to the café.

It was obvious he creeped fifteen-year-old Sanghyuk out – he creeped _himself_ out – but it was too late to back out already.

‘I don’t want anything from you,’ he started. ‘What I want is to tell you you’re okay – or you will be, at least. It’s going to be so okay you’ll feel like you’re living in a hallmark movie. There’s still so much time for you – believe me, that’s the best thing you can have in this life.’

Teen Sanghyuk was looking very confused, so Sanghyuk repeated himself, was about to do it a third time when Death appeared next to him, staring at him with his blank look.

Teen Sanghyuk was smiling, so that would have to do. Sanghyuk waved off the offer of coffee and got up, followed Death out of the café and into the light. Somewhere beyond that Jaehwan was waiting for him and Sanghyuk couldn’t wait to tell him all about his great grandchildren and how Minah still retold their dates as a bedtime fairytales.

Jaehwan was still the princess, of course.


End file.
